crazyrabbitgirl (crazyrabbitgirl) wrote,

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Mostly for Zach but anyone else can read it too...

There really is nothing that I am sure of in my life. The people I've considered my best friends have grown apart and vanished from my life. My mother has changed into someone slightly unrecognizable as she pushes me harder and harder for success. But the one thing I always know is that I will always love Zach. He completes me in a way I didn't think I would need completing. I've shyed away from relationships for the past few years because I didn't want to hurt anyone and I didn't want to be hurt. I wanted it to be cold and cynical and shut myself down completely. As I was found of saying, I'd rather give away my body than my heart. But I started talking to Zach and he talked to me and captivated me and he's made me so happy. He's the person that I cannot be without. I didn't want to end up like my grandmother because she loved my grandfather so much that her world shut down when he died. I found that frightening. To base your happiness like that on someone. But I think I am getting how she felt. I spent one day without talking to Zach and I felt like something wasn't right and I was unsettled. I didn't have anything in particalur to say to him but I just wanted him around. Maybe I wanted proof that he wasn't a dream I had conjured up in my mind. I can't imagine spending 50+ years with someone that you love so completely and them dying. It's frightening but think of those 50 years they had together. All the joy they must have had. All the quiet moments and lvoe that they shared. How amazing that must have been.

So I've been finding some quotes that make me think of Zach because I love quotes (I think I'm addicted to them)

"I know that you are not perfect and nor can I claim to be either, but please believe me, when I say that I want to be by your side, to hold your hand, to treasure you in the morning and in the noon-tide, to be next to you, to be held close to your heart now and for the rest of my living years, to comfort you, dry your tears and calm your most frightening fears, to fight your battles and show no shame to scream my love for you out loud all over the land."

"You are sanity in an insane world. You're reason where there isn't any reason. Reason to live."
Madeleine L'Engle

"Loving you is like having ice cream on a hot day, the day is so much more enjoyable with you in it."

"Other people save lives, but you rescued my soul."
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